How did I get here?!?

So I've been thinking about my life, and how I got to where I am, and really just reflecting about all of the little things.  I am always reminded of the scripture that says that "by small and simple means are great things brought to pass".  

Seriously, though, how do I even know that I'm supposed to be here, at home, getting ready to go to Florida in 13 days? What if this is all the second best thing I was supposed to do, because I blew it on the best? Let's look at how I got here:

First, I served a full-time mission to the California San Diego Mission.  That, I believe was totally worth everything.  So I'll start there, because I truly don't think that anything could have been better for me.  So I got home exactly one year ago tomorrow (April 12, 2011), and then what happened? I went back to school.  I was a bit lazy in a few classes, had a few minor meltdowns, and then I failed my jury, ensuring that I would be there one semester longer than anticipated, and so now I might as well not go for the summer in 2012, because I don't want to do my student teaching in the fall.  That one decision made it so that I won't be there to see my best friend graduate, and I won't be done till now April of 2013.  However, this also means that I have a few more options open for my student teaching, and I will be meeting a whole different set of people. Maybe I could even meet the man I marry...

Ok, so then in July I decided to buy a car. No big deal; actually I think I had a lot of help when I bought it, because I still can't believe I found that exact car I wanted, at a better price than what I expected.  So then in August my sisters had decided to go on a trip to California and mostly Disneyland, because my oldest sister hadn't been there since our vacation there in 1999.  Here's where the decisions come in.  Are you paying attention?

So I was broke.  I had just bought a car, was thinking about a phone, and didn't have a lot of money coming in for my student loans.  But the thought of being able to go to one of my favorite places in the world, possibly seeing people in San Diego, and actually getting to spend time with my two sisters (they always do everything without me)was just too much to bear.  So I went.  My sister loaned me the money that I still haven't paid back, and I went.  While I was there, though, I made a huge decision.  I had some really amazing and spiritual experiences, and I decided that no matter what, I needed to be working with Disney the next year.  I didn't care if I was a character or a custodian, I just needed to be there and be a part of this amazing thing.  I felt really strongly about it, and I was even a little afraid to tell my sisters because I knew that nobody could really understand how deeply I felt about it.  So I went home and applied and lo an behold I got my number one choice and I'm working for Disney!  Sweet, right?  Maybe.  When I was in California, I distinctly wanted to be in California.  However, I got in to Florida.  Also, I really shouldn't have even gone to California in the first place, because I was being irresponsible and couldn't even afford it, right? 

So then... HOW DID I GET HERE???

Yeah, I don't know either.  Actually, I do.  Choices.  I have made every decision that has brought me here.  I chose to go to California.  I chose to let myself be separated in the parks that led to the really awesome experiences, that led to me choosing to apply and choosing to go to Florida.  And now here I am, sitting in my parent's basement going through all my stuff, starting to figure out what to pack and what I'll really need and all that junk.  They say decisions determine destiny, but I guess I'm just afraid of choosing the right one.  I know that I show God what I value based on what I choose. Am I showing that I value the right things? Or is this just another crazy train ride that I feel like doing because I'm restless and can't sit still, but really isn't going to be so great in the long run?  Am I just prolonging the responsibilities I have because I'm afraid to grow up and be responsible? Maybe.  

Ok, so I don't have any answers now, but then what else is new?  My question to the world is this: How do we know that we aren't living our lives in just the "good" stage? How do we know we are in the "best"?  And once we figure it out, how do we move back to the "best"?  Is there any hope to regain the time and experiences that have been lost? Or are we doomed to miss some of those precious and important things???

Nice guy? Nice Girl!

So I was watching this movie with my parents. Definately, maybe. For those of you who have not seen this, stop reading now, because I am going to ruin the movie for you if you keep reading, and you will not be happy. Seriously. Anyway, so I was thinking as I was watching this movie about a comment that a friend of mine made a while ago about the nice guy finishing last. But what about the nice girl?

So in this movie, it is obvious which of the three girls is really in love with the main guy, but he is totally oblivious to the fact that she likes him as more than a friend. By the time he figures it out, she has moved on and is dating another guy, and he is all hurt and pouty about it. But, as his daughter points out, she came back from her trip for him! He didn't even realize it, and then played this martyr looking like the "nice guy finishing last". However, in the end of the movie everything is a storybook happy ending, and this guy gets the girl anyway. And I thought to myself, this is the guy version of a chick flick.

Sometimes, yes, it is true that the nice guy finishes last. And I realize that girls can't follow the story book farytale about the idea of "true love". But a lot of the time, the nice guy finishes last because he is too stubborn to realize that the girl didn't want more than friends because she is afraid of finishing last herself. It is really hard for people to be open about their feelings toward another person, because we've all been there where it blows up in your face and you wish that you had never met the person to have to go through all that. the nice guy is the girl's friend because she doesn't want to lose the one thing in her life that makes her want to wake up in the morning and face the day. Because more often than not, to him, she is just that. The "nice girl".